These are three little random monologues I wrote a while ago when I was in the middle of my "Dark & Twisty" issues and I just wanted to share them. All three of them are linked into a little scene. It's very random, but that's what you can always expect from my psyche.
Stella
I am capable of most things! I don’t need you for everything I do. I’ll be fine without you most of the time. I chose to do this on my own and I will. (beat). I just need to figure out how. And look, I am not a fan of my mistakes but I do learn from them, so dammit, let me learn! You talk to me like a stupid adolescent girl playing with the big men or something. I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago. I take everything in. I speak. I teach, and I am understood. Even if it takes a considerable amount of time, my brain does still work. And I need you--I need you all to understand that. I am a strong independent woman, who is capable of most things! I am talented! I am experienced! I am! I am damn capable. And don’t you forget it. When I speak people listen, and when I walk into a room people turn their heads, and not because of how hot I look when I’m carrying over 20 pounds of copied papers in one hand and carrying a mug of raspberry-chocolate coffee in the other. But it’s because I am capable. Because I am a strong person, and I earned it! (beat). And George, you think your attracted to me but really your only attracted to my profession, and my skill, and the fact that you know you can’t have me. And maybe possibly how hot I look carrying 20 pounds of copied papers, but really, to the both of you men, I just want to say that I am capable.
Harry
Can you shut your face, please. For a moment. Please. I know you’re capable. I know you’re independent, and strong. I also know that you learn from your mistakes which is great and wonderful and all happiness and sunshine and rainbows, but please I beg you. Shut up! Shut your mouth, please, for a moment. Because if you haven’t yet noticed, I have a psychology test tomorrow morning in which I am very unsuccessfully trying to study for. And I tried to help you because I saw how stressed you were, and how your ass of a boss was abusing his power. And also how slutty and coquettish you were being to try to exploit a little sympathy from him. Don’t deny it! I know because I saw that new collection of astonishingly short skirts you brought. Bet you didn’t know or count on him being gay, hm? I mean seriously. Seriously. Your ass hangs out of those dresses. It’s embarrassing. Anyone could see. And don’t-- don’t get offended, just take the criticism. That’s one thing you’re not capable of. Your loud. Your full of misguided & misplaced arrogance. You lie way too much. You complain about men trying to tame you, when you put yourself in the position to be “tamed“. You rant, even when it’s not appropriate to. And your just pretty much an unfortunate young woman. And you want sympathy from people all the time, but refuse to sympathize with anyone else. I tried to sympathize with you and your stress today, but god forbid you even try to sympathize with mine. (beat). And by the way, you don’t even look remotely “hot” when your carrying 20 pounds of copied papers. You look constipated, or like you’ve lost a few very important brain cells. Not to mention the disturbing, almost, but not quite cute way your face scrunches up while you also carry that very much unnecessary mug of raspberry-chocolate coffee. It’s disgusting and not good for you. Stop drinking it! (beat). Oh, and George…he is attracted to you. He’s attracted to you, your profession, and your skill. Also that amazing way that you are capable. Because you are. He knows that as much as I do. That small, chunky little man loves everything about you. Even the way you’re sometimes a pretentious and hopeless romantic. Even when you need to shut your face. He loves you….you are his angel. In his words not mine. So love him and stop talking down to him. (beat). Or don’t I don’t care, whatever, but as you weight your options, I’d consider wiping off that shocked and angry look of your face and trying something a little more…dignified. And also do consider the possibility of shutting the hell up, because I can’t take it anymore.
George
I may be a quiet, short, stocky guy-- a guy you’re not used to, but I am also capable. And worthy. And I do. I do love you. And I am attracted to you for a myriad of reasons that would take me an eternity to mention. Such as the way you try so very hard to cook for everyone and it only turns out be another rather unfortunate murder scene. Also the way you criticize everyone you meet even though you may not have the room to. Not to mention that high-larious way you’re able to lose weight everywhere on your body excluding your thighs. And how you fake talking on the phone to seem like you’re popular even though you have no friends whatsoever. And I know it my seem like we’re just pointing out your many, many innumerous flaws and beating down your already extremely low self esteem, but I am trying to make a point. Because despite those extraordinary flaws, you are capable. Harry’s right. You are strong and independent. You don’t need that collection of short skirts to try to impress your gay boss. I mean seriously. So honey, I know of your capability and so does Harry and so does your unpleasant mother, no matter how ordinary she thinks you are, you’re not. I mean you’re the only woman working at that business, and still surviving, as a woman. You’re special and witty and you have a wonderful singing voice. It’s just too bad you hate music. And it’s a known fact that most people in this house view me as the incapable woman, many of the men in your workplace think you are. And for that I apologize.
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