A Mature Conversation

Aaron

Just because I enjoy a good laugh, at the risk of accidentally maybe, possibly hurting someone, does not mean I am some immature douchebag trying his best to get some attention. And I'm not vapid. And I'm not stupid. I can construct a well-devised sentence and defend myself from a dull lifeless person's wrongful criticisms. No offense. And I know the difference between something appropriate and something horribly foul. I did graduate from Dartmouth. At the top of my class! I mean, I don't expect you to understand anything concerning humor and liveliness. You, most likely, associate happy and hilarious with death and pollution...no offense. It's just, I think you really don't understand that this is the reason people think you're a depressive downer. And that Melinde from accounting believes you to be a stalking pedophile. You do remember the Take You Daughter To Work Day incident? Not that any of that matters or pertains to this conversation. Or would you rather call it a debate? As I understand the only thing you participated in at that belligerent, overly-callus and overly-expensive private school which was poorly named, Livelihood Manor, was debate. And you pride yourself on that fact. Which you should I mean obviously you were this angry young man who was analyzed as the weirdly asexual and dense pale-eyed loner, so you had to take your frustration out with something, and I guess debate was your ticket out of your own personal hell. No offense. I know I keep saying "no offense", and you may think of that as annoying, and I'd agree but, I just don't like being insulted by a man who describes cough drops as "candy by another name". I mean what makes you think I'm this immature loser who threw an inappropriate party in the office? I got this job because of  my maturity level, and my mind-blowing degree. I'd expect another Ivy League graduate to understand my want for a nice party. Also your comment about workmanship and contribution...unfair. It's pretty generous to concern yourself with my work ethic, and wonder about my contributions, but I think I'll be okay all on my own. Also, I'd bet my next five pay checks, which would be about $150,000, that I contribute a lot more to this workplace in the past three months than you have in your last three influential years. And that's not me being egotistic about my monstrous paycheck, it's just me telling the honest-to-God truth. See, I'm not some immature monster who uses ball point pens. I' just a regular guy that knows how to chill out once in a while. I'd suggest you learn to do the same.

Terry

First of all, I do not like the fact that you feel the need to pronounce all of my shortcomings just to display my seemingly horrid inability to "have fun" or "chill out". It is offense. And I am not a depressive, nor a downer. I simply find the idea of a wild and ridiculous, haphazard party being in a workplace of which there should only be professional and expert behavior...redundant. And as an Ivy League graduate, whom should have learned this fact, I am disappointed. But then again you did go to Dartmouth. I mean no offense, but everyone knows that the only Ivies are the Holy Trinity: Yale, Princeton, and Harvard. And ball point pens should be banned from this whole entire country. You are aware of the failing penmanship all over these great states. Especially, California. Dull and lifeless. How dare you? And to bring up an ounce of my past is an insult, not only to me but to anyone involved. I was an angry young man, but I have grown out of that...foolishness. And the fact that you have the audacity to proclaim your own "monstrous", over-blown paycheck is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous! As if your better than anyone. This is why I and some unnamed others see you as an ignorant, immature arrogant. Like your new. There is nothing new under the sun. Your workmanship is questionable and I do have to admit you have made a great amount of contributions to this workplace, no matter if most of them being inappropriate. I can only imagine your unfortunate behavior as a result of your pretentious overworking. Overworking that only an immature and under confident and ignorant young man, such as yourself can do. And it is a pain. I myself have been looking forward to seeing you drown under all the pressure your new job has brought you, but I am also trying my best to behave in an easing manner. It's a shame that after my three years of faithful work the I still have the common man's salary, while trash like you walk into this office and quickly gains a near six figure salary. It's truly quite a disarray. The blatant disrespect that spews from your mouth on a regular basis is concerning to me. I don't think you belong in an office with others way beyond your own maturity level. You have the open ability to be more than a blabbering, callow child with a salary bigger than your overgrown ego. Have you any recollection of how important the work is that we do here? This isn't just a place where we goof off and try to pick up the working women. And for the record, I couldn't give two craps or a damn if Melinde thinks the worst of me. She's a struggling divorced single mother who cheated on her husband with two thugs, and now trades sexual services over the internet as a cyber-prostitute to support her kids through the same farcical private school she attended and graduated from at the bottom of her ridiculous class. It's a shame that most of the women here are doing the same, not to mention Eric. Can anyone say, ironic? I'm sure I am not the only one who knows about Melinde's sex-capdes around the internet. Be clear that I'm not making judgments. Melinde is a woman as superficial and unattainable as they all are. And my sex life does leave much to be desired, but it is none the less nothing you need to be concerning your bird-sized brain about. I have sympathy for Melinde. And Phillis. And Eric. Poor souls. They'll be working here for the rest of their lives. At least they are efficient enough to do so. But you...I feel as though you will soon run your course. I do believe that you are rather popular around the office, but you have to be sure that you have loyalties. Which you don't. Your work is mediocre. You are hellishly unorganized. And you do seem to wear the same suit every other day. Not enough suits? Have to keep room in your closet for your ripped blue jeans and undersized graphic douche tees, no doubt? They way you're going will get you there, but it won't keep you there. And to be frank, under all of that humble exterior, lies a little loser with extremely low self-esteem, who also has a tendency to run to the men's lavatory and silently cry in a stall whenever he is rejected by a woman. I'm sorry...that was kind of out of line. You are a vapid, vapid young man. And I honestly think you have no idea how everyone in this office views someone like you.