Balloons Are My Downfall!

Without balloons, where would we be?

And can you blame me? I mean, after witnessing the wonderful spectacle that is the Disney Pixar movie "Up", the love for the bright & shiny, colorful globos were wildly expanded and "Hella yes" excepted. From a young age, those sphere things were something that had always had me in awe. Childish? No. And shame on you for thinking so. It's presh potskins at it's best, and it's a symbol of happiness that should not be tampered with in any kind of way. It should only be appreciated. And I'd kiss the person how invented the first balloon of color, no matter who it is. Not the foul, gaudy, foil-looking "dark & twisty" ones, but the real rubber "bright & shiny" ones. The ones that can get you in trouble. I love the ones that can get you in trouble. And the helium! Don't get me started on the helium. The trouble-making balloons are pretty much a festival of awesomeness, topped with a dollop of presh potskins. And to repeat myself, I'd just leave a pile of balloons everywhere in my house randomly. It'll be my thing. My very unfortunate and awkward thing. A thing most people would worry about, but will only be missing out on. Disturbing enough, if there are balloons around me, and you are trying to have a heart-to-heart kind of conversation, you'll be rather bemused fellow. As I will not keep any semblance of eye contact. My attention will be rightfully attracted to the colorful globe hovering a few feet away from you.

Inadequately equipped with, well nothing, but loftiness and slightly annoying chuckles, I have been known to engage others in the eccentric playing of "Balloon Time", which is needed every two weeks. It relieves stress. In fact blowing up balloons and seeing those relaxing or bright colors is thought to be therapy, at least for me. How droll, right? No, I'm super cereal. No joke. And to be completely oratorical and bombastic, I love the pops and the small noises, your mother would hit you in your face for. Mocking the disgusting human function that is flatulence is a favorite. It seems that as mature as I or others may think I am, I'm not. Well that was kind of depressing. And the appropriate cure for depression is very well the discovery of a good balloon animal. That is always the way to go. Any "scene kids" who act as though they are bored by the sight of a well-arranged balloon, you just don't know how to enjoy life. Emo people are sad because they haven't received a balloon in their childhood. How sad?

Is there danger in loving balloons. Yes, but we won't get on that. We'll keep our sights on the positives, because I want to cover it all up, and package this new useless blog post with a pretty yellow, or pink bow that will attract everyone to it. Because, as a nation, balloons have literally been our downfall. But let's keep this under wraps, as it will ruin your chances of being a "Bright & Shiny", because a "Dark & Twisty" could not except the biblical epicness of the epic globe that is the "Balloon".